I recently completed my second paperback book, 21 Days to Living Your Dreams. I have to admit I had mixed emotions – happy, worried, proud and a mixture of so many other positive and negative feelings. It was almost as if the accomplishment of writing a book and publishing a book was “anti-climactic.”
Have you ever finished a major project and felt an emotional “let-down?” You’re happy it’s completed and yet, there’s something that seems to be holding you back from celebrating and appreciating the accomplishment?
I didn’t want to feel “let down.” I decided to make time to analyze what was holding me back from jumping up and down and calling everyone I know to tell them the good news.
Here’s what I discovered:
1. I am a “recovering” perfectionist.
I wanted to read and reread every page to see if I missed something. Thankfully I didn’t do that or the book would never have gotten printed. After many edits, I let it go and decided to “live” with the final results.
Perfectionism can destroy the pleasure of a job well done! It can keep you guessing and wondering if you’re good enough and if you did the job well enough. With perfectionism, there seems to be no joy in succeeding. I am proud to say that I let the need to make everything perfect slip away and to appreciate my accomplishment.
2. I am concerned about being judged.
What if someone doesn’t like my book? What if someone finds a mistake?
The fear of being judged can stop us dead in our tracks and paralyze us so we cannot go forward in positive and productive ways. Have you heard of “paralysis by analysis?” That’s when you overthink a task until the fear of being judged or making a mistake leads to procrastination and inaction. I decided to not worry about being judged and self-confidently promote my book.
3. I am always thinking about what I should be doing next.
Instead of making time to appreciate the fact that I have a newly published book available for sale, I seem to be focusing on what I should be writing next. Really, what’s up with that?
I decided to take one whole day and bask in the glory of writing and publishing a new book – giving myself a well-earned “atta girl.” Okay, I have to admit it wasn’t easy to take a whole day, but for one day I basked.
All my three discoveries are symptoms of self-sabotaging behavior. The good news is that I recognized and conquered the urge to self-sabotage my success. Recognizing and dealing with self-sabotage takes time and practice. Trust me when I say, if I can conquer self-sabotage so can you.
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I’m Sharon Michaels and I teach you how to do business successfully. http://SharonMichaels.com
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