Let me start with my definition of self-sabotage: Any self-limiting or destructive behaviors that keeps you from living up to your true potential.
I’ve been studying self-sabotage just about my entire adult life. I’ve lived with self-sabotaged and even written books on the subject. I consider myself an expert on self-sabotaging behaviors. The other evening I came across a list I began several years ago of the signs I noticed within myself and others who had self-sabotaging habits and behaviors. I want to share that list with you.
_ Praise from others is the primary measuring stick by which you judge yourself and your abilities
_ Feelings of guilt for wanting to succeed and living out your goals
_ Not trusting your instincts and judgment and then allowing others to sway you
_ Being a people pleaser and/or a perfectionist
_ Getting sick, tired or unhappy after a success or receiving recognition
_ Over spending, over shopping, over eating ….
_ Taking care of others but not taking good care of yourself and/or being a martyr
_ Success looks and feels overwhelming and not very much fun
_ Money is constantly an emotional struggle
_ Making emotional mountains out of everyday mole hills – castrophizing
_ In a constant state of worry, even when there isn’t anything to worry about
_ You surround yourself with negative and disempowered people
_ Even when a situation is disempowering and/or unhealthy you stay because you never know, things may change
_ You settle – you take what you can get even if it is not necessarily what you want
_ Making plans to do something you’ll enjoy and then finding a reason to cancel
_ Not being able to relax and enjoy yourself, especially on vacation
_ Feeling as if you have to save the world
_ Focusing on the negatives, especially about yourself
_ Blaming yourself when things go wrong even if it is not your fault
_ Avoiding things that unpleasant, especially if they are confrontational
_ Not believing you are smart or good enough for success and happiness
_ Procrastination – waiting until the last minute
_ Overextending yourself – not being to say no
_ Too many things to do crammed into a too short time period
_ Not knowing how to relax
_ Not making time to relax – always on the move
_ Not making quiet time to listen to the silence – your own thoughts
_ Making excuses and not progress
_ Failing to plan
What could you add to this list?
Well, what do you think? Recognize any of the self-sabotaging signs?
Here’s to going forward to positive ways,
Sharon Michaels
Author – Blogger – Coach to Women Entrepreneurs
Owner of WomenWhoWantToSuccessfullyWorkForThemselves.com
P. S. If you’d like to coach one-on-one, join a MasterMind group or become a guest blogger on this blog, please email me at – coaching@sharonmichaels.com or use the Contact Sharon form on this site.
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